Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Last Night...

Last night, Matthew drove down to stay at my mom's on his way to a business meeting at FSU. MC and I stayed here. It's always an adventure staying home without him, and last night was no different! Y'all aren't going to believe this! I wrote him a letter explaining what happened...


I'm laying here in our bed. A few minutes ago, my heart started racing, and now, well, now it's pounding...so hard that you might be able to hear it all the way in Georgia! I heard a noise. I know, I know, you're thinking, "Delecta, not again!" This time, I think it's real! It kind of sounded like a bang, maybe a door, well, I think it was footsteps, yeah, footsteps! It was footsteps in our house! I'm sweating. There's a man walking around in our house trying to find me! Right now, you're thinking, "you, Delecta, are the only person I know that can make 1000 sq feet sound like 10,000," but stay focused here, there's a man in our house! Remember that time you came home and found that butter knife under my pillow? Well, i forgot to get my butter knife this time! Anyway, can you believe there's a masked man in our house? Oh yeah, I think I saw a mask. He's surely got a mask on. I'm paralyzed! Yep, I can't move! I'm paralyzed! There's a masked man walking around our house and I'm paralyzed! Ok, my leg just moved, I'm not paralyzed after all. Ok, back to the man in our house, wearing a mask, and carrying a knife. Well, he's gonna get me. He's going to shoot me dead, right here with his gun! And here, you're thinking, "I thought you said he has a knife?" I just opened my eyes again and you're right, it was a knife, but I'm sure he has a gun too! Oh my goodness, a knife carrying gunslinger is in our house searching for me! I'm under the covers...completely! It's so doggone hot under here. For some reason, I don't think he will notice the outline of my body raised on the bed because I'm under the comforter! What I'd do for an invisibility cloak right now! Ok, Delecta, stop thinking Harry Potter, and begin thinking about how you are going to fight off this group of men in your house! "Men," you say? Yeah, I thought there was one, but when I opened my eyes again, I think there were three of them! Three masked knife carrying gunslingers right here in our house! I'm about to open my eyes one more time...I think I'm going to sneak out of bed and get the shotgun...ok, got it! Man, this thing is heavier than the last time I thought there were men in the house! I'm going looking for them, hold on a sec...not in the room...not in here either...they're surely in this closet...nope! Whew! Ok, you'll be happy to know that I've checked all of the rooms, the closets, under the beds, and in the showers, and there isn't anyone in here. It must have been that refrigerator noise again! Well, I'm going to bed now, MC's got ballet in the morning. Isn't she so cute in her leotard? Call me when you get back on the road. I think we'll have those chicken wontons for dinner tomorrow night. Mmm. Ok, I love you! Night!

Love, Delecta

Ok, does anyone else do this? I was just talking to my friends, Robin and Dani, about this on Sunday, and here I am doing it again! This fear thing cripples me! Y'all know this, I've talked about it on here before. Listen, those of you who are about to send me scripture about fear, don't worry about it! Got them all memorized! I quote them often every time masked intruders are in my house! I know what it is I need to do, but what I don't know, are the steps to get there! I'm praying that God will deliver me from this, and also praying that I will allow him to! I want to hear your stories! Do you do this? Do you think I'm crazy? Do you think this is normal? I want to hear it!

P.S. - the butter knife story...once, Matthew was gone, and I was of course scared to death. I got a butter knife and put it under my pillow for protection. The next morning I forgot to remove it, and he found it when he got home. When he asked me why there was a piece of silverware in our bed, I explained that I needed protection, and felt like a butter knife was my best bet. You know, anything sharper might cut me in the middle of the night! So, now, we have a gun!


Double Dees in SC said...

Oh woman -

1) You are a total cray
2) Cray-cray + loaded gun = bad idea

And you might want to stop leaving legal proof of your insanity or we might all be visiting your nutty self at MP

W and Js mommy said...

I just howled out loud!!!!! bahaaaaa
As you know Jordan travels a good bit and there are those time where I get totally FREAKED OUT and think that if I can slow my breathing down just enough I am sure I can hear people talking about stealing my boys! So there I am not breathing in my bed in the dark--
YUP so bad that JASON my boss cut me a piece of wood(painted it..he is so nice to me) and gave it to me to put in our sliding glass door. Do you think he can tell when I have held my breath all night and not slept! HA
Love ya
we should get walkies and when our men are out of town we can talk to eachother! :)

The Rollins Family said...

Dawn, you're probably right! I wonder how the food is at MP?

The Rollins Family said...

Beth, you do have a great boss! We do need to get some walkies...over and out!