If your name is Erin Shaw, you were my college roommate, and I'm in your wedding on April 21st, DO NOT READ this post. I repeat, DO NOT READ this post!
Have you ever had to order a bridesmaids dress? Don't you despise having to order ten sizes larger than you typically wear? I have a theory about this...they order so large so that you are forced to pay their alterations fee! Makes sense huh? When they do this, they suck the last ounce of positive self confidence we have right down the drain! I mean, that number stamped in bold on the tag of that dress is a reflection of how our day is going to be when we slide it on, even if we had to practically remake the dress to get it to stay on. And, when that tag starts itching and irritating our back, it's as if it's saying, " remember what that bold number was?"
Well, I ordered what I think will probably be my last bridesmaids dress I will ever wear a few weeks ago for my college roommates wedding in a few months. This was the first time I'd ever ordered over the phone, so I had an idea! I was going to beat the system! That's right, you bridal bullies, you weren't going to get me this time. As I measured myself (which you are never supposed to do for accurate measurements) I pulled tight the measuring tape as I sucked in to get the size I wanted. When I told the bridal consultant my "measurements," she said something that caught me by surprise. (By, "caught me by surprise'" I mean, I started feeling chunks form in my throat and sweat began to bead up on my upper lip). She said, "you are a perfect size _!" As I tried to register the number that just been spoken on the other side of the phone, I was silent! "Mrs. Rollins, are you still there?" she said. I regained my composure, well, enough to assure her that was the size I wore. (I left out the part that it was the size I wore...in college!) We ended the conversation with me paying for a dress that I surely couldn't fit my right thigh in, as sweat was now dripping off my face. So, I'm sitting there thinking, ok, what now? Snack? No!
After the initial shock, I actually talked myself in to this being a great thing! What better way to get back my college body? I mean, I don't have a choice! So, here we go, Operation Bridesmaid Dress is in full swing! I'm talking: daily food logs, spin class, body pump class, and The Greenville Sportsclub getting to know me by name. Join me in my journey to zip up that dress!
Erin, if you read this against my warnings, I'M SORRY! Don't freak out, that dress will zip on April 21st! :)